Pretentious Rambling

At times I regret having applied to be a Resident Advisor, getting the job, and then continuing a second year in that job because I feel like I have lost a lot of opportunities to strengthen friendships with people - people that I thought that I would be close with no matter what.

Relationships…

This isn’t the kind of thing that one is supposed to reblog.
I know.

But it’s so true. And it’s such a big struggle.

As an Advisor, no matter how hard you try, there’s no way to spend as much time with friends as is necessary to build those really close relationships. I know that I haven’t been living the Advisor life for as long as you have, Connie, but I can already sense the people I used to spend every moment with slipping away. As much as I’d love to keep those friends, it’s impossible to live the past. It’s impossible for things to be the way they were. And it’s sad and frustrating and it makes you wonder if it’s worth it.

Ubi sunt.

Because the connections you make staying up late in the Trinity common room can’t simply be maintained via Facebook comments and passing chats in the UU.

And as much as getting to know residents and other Advisors is incredibly rewarding, there’s always that part of you that longs for a past that seems more distant each day.

And the most frustrating thing is that a lot of people just don’t understand.

And they get mad at you when you can’t make it to that one thing on a Saturday night that you’re on duty.

And then they start texts with “I know you probably can’t make it…” or “I know you’re probably busy, but…”

And then the texts just stop.

And it hurts.

And you start to question if this is the right thing.

I don’t know if it is. And I can’t speak for your other children, but let me just say this:

I love you so much, Connie. And if you were never an Advisor, I would never have met you. And I can’t even fathom that. And if you were never an Advisor, I would probably not be an Advisor. Because you inspire me. And I can’t thank you enough.

Meowmeow. Nuzzle.

Less than sign, three

(Reblogged from constancecaden)

Mar 22

watching X-men First Class now.

And then maybe Winter’s Bone.

And Hunger Games tonight.

Because it’s a Jennifer Lawrence kind of day.

She’s gorgeous.

(Reblogged from dauntlessdreamer)

My excitement: Real or not real?

Real.

(Source: onebignothingatall)

(Reblogged from onebignothingatall)

Mar 19

I just wrote

a pretty angsty post about how my grades are meh.

But, I mean, fuck that. I’m not “Creating” that.

So here’s a nightcap swig of optimism to loosen up my far-too-sober state of mind.

(And that, my friends, is a play on the word “sober.” I’m no alcoholic, I.)

I’m a smart person. I matter.

And I’m effective.

And isn’t that all we ever really want? To be effective? To know that we’re making a difference?

~~That’s not rhetorical. Please answer aloud.~~

~~But really…~~ it is. We just want to know that we are doing something. Actually doing something. And right now, I know that I’m doing at least something right.

And if you’re reading this, know that you’re effective, too. I don’t know if you’re effective in a good way or a bad way or a crazy way or whatever way. That’s a lot of power to drink in.

So all I ask is…

Please drink responsibly.